Did I say that out loud??

When you are tired, you say really stupid things. I don't mean YOU you.. I mean You in general. Everybody You. Make sense? Whatever. That doesn't matter. What matters is the fact that when your brain is only working at half its capacity, somehow the things that you are really thinking shine through in your actions or words. I just remembered how amazing Sun Chips are.. Just throwing that in there... So as I sit here with no shirt on, writing about God-knows-what.. I remember that I didnt really have a plan for what I was going to be writing. Maybe I should take this opportunity to share my religious beliefs? No. I am not going to preach to you. Religion is a touchy subject, and no matter what my views or beliefs are, I will offend someone.
I don't enjoy offending others. I don't take pleasure in making people feel uncomfortable. Most of the time. A majority of the time, when I am spending time with friends, the awkward silence is thanks to Yours Truly. Somehow I always find a way to take the words out of people's mouths. If only that worked better for the douche in the movie theater who thinks the "No Cell Phone" rule doesn't apply to him. I want to cut him.
Now is a good time to bring up the fact that I am NOT a violent person. Although my ex-wife likes to say that I was abusive to her and did drugs, I never laid a finger on her. And the weight that I have lost (approximately 100 lbs) is due to the fact that I don't just want to drown myself in beer every night when I get home. Not because I do crack. The crack has nothing to do with it. (jk, i dont EVER do that).
I just want to take note, that I have now seen at least 4 flies get sucked into the oscillating fan standing next to me. I am SOOO glad its not pointing at me.
Where was I?
Oh yes.. Crack. Ex-wives, and the future of rap.
To be honest, I am utterly exhausted and don't remember what I have been writing about, where it began, or where I wanted it to go. It is probably in EVERYBODY'S best interest if i just shut up and go to bed. Goodnight. Dream of pigeons.